Fear and Loathing in CDO

I awake with a Fight Club poster staring me in the face. It read, “Self-improvement is masturbation, self-destruction is the answer; this is your life, ending one minute at a time.” I begin to wonder, as all becomes so surreal, if my friend actually exists or it was all me. I take a look out the window and there’s this refreshing countryside view. A night of binge drinking and whatnot begs the question: where am I?


You see, it all began on the tourist trail. My friends advised strongly against meeting with a friend I just met online as he could be a random kidnaper or rapist or something (a normal reaction in meeting up with someone you met online). I assured them he wasn’t. I trusted him as he introduced me to several agorist literature and counter-economics, all of which have made a significant influence in my writing. I referred to him as my Vince Vaughn to my friends, a reference to the movie Into the Wild, only a much more intellectual version of the character he played.

As my pounding heart starts to remind me of the activities from the night before, I walked out the room door and I am comforted by an Agorism poster on the other side of the door. I realized I just had around 2 hours of pseudo-sleep but was ready to discuss our plans of another adventurous day with my friend and this other guy he introduced me to: an awesome valedictorian mathematician who speaks 9 languages. The trip was definitely as mind-stimulating as it was liver-and-braincell-destroying; an educational wasted-ness of sorts.

Everyone’s The Same by KaapiN

The night before was all about checking out the local culture, cuisine, and music scene. The gig was great. Above is one of the local artists we got to watch and also my friend’s band played some awesome and very nostalgic covers. There was this other band that played some really great funky tunes but I wasn’t able to get their name. I’m glad my friends tagged along and got to see the gig as well.

The gig ended and we went our separate ways, as initially planned. To celebrate my friend’s successful gig, we ordered one last beer and I got introduced to his mathematician friend. We start discussing our plans for the next day’s adventure, a pilgrimage for closure of sorts, and was planning to call it a night. We left the bar and went to a convenience store to buy supplies for the adventure ahead of us. It was around 2 am already, if I remember correctly, but little did I know that this was far from the ending of the night.

As my mathematician friend and I grabbed some canned goods and eggs for our breakfast, my agorist friend enters the store with a surprise. As much as he swears he had quit playing the game of pick-up artistry, he seemingly relapsed, knowing well that I was burdened by my bummed heart due to a very recent rejection. Randomly (I thought he was just in the comfort room or something), he had with him two lovely fairies, as if bringing them as an offering, and tells me that we’re going to the beach. And when I hear “beach” I always remember: never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar.

As I wasn’t fluent in the local dialect, my friends were negotiating with this local cashier behind this sari-sari store-looking counter with bars on it when I randomly commented how much? Finding out that I don’t know how to speak the local dialect, the cashier starts to speak straight up english with legit American accent and starts explaining the math of the pricing of the room as if he was some Harvard physicist that even our mathematician friend got caught off guard. It’s one of those “you had to be there” funny experiences. We settle for an unnecessary price only because he was ridiculously entertaining.

I stood outside the beach, reflectively watched the sky as it turned blue for the sunrise, passed out, and as I have mentioned, woke up staring at the Fight Club poster.

We roamed around random places in Mindanao, even reaching high altitudes and walking on chemicals that the government claims could prevent diseases (very unusual). It was my first time there.

I got lessons on history and recent bombings made by commie rebels, separatist groups, and terrorists. It only emphasized my point that sovereignty and property rights belong to the individual and the desire for the government to “secure” individuals and create imaginary lines that enclose us, only propagates poverty, violence, and the lack of security intended to be provided to begin with.

We talked philosophy, public policy, mathematics, sentiments on GMOs (while eating this local cornbread of sorts), and at one time even strolled around looking for eye candies.

Unfortunately, we had no camera with us throughout this whole journey. But can I just say, take my word for it, it’s only been the tip of the ice berg and I’m definitely coming back for more.


Destroyed my smartphone a few weeks ago in Zambales

At the end of this amazing journey, after the deepest of reflections, I would have to disagree with Tyler Durden and say that what I learned is that self-improvement is the answer.

“He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” – Nietzsche

Here’s a good summary by my Agoirst friend of what happened throughout the trip:


My Agorist friend introduced me to this new author that’s starting to open my eyes on how I should view women, relationships, and “love” or being in love.

All in all, the short amount of time I spent there gave me so much insight and it was all so fitting to all that I’ve been experiencing. I feel, at least I’d like to think, that I am much wiser and hopefully my motivations  don’t remain the same. We’ll see what the future brings.


Note to self: read back every once in a while and be reminded.



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