Non Sum Qualis Eram

I remember a time when I disliked posting photos of people (by people I guess I mean those I know). You know, I preferred landscapes, places, plants, strangers, and random things I found beautiful or intriguing. There was a time when I couldn’t write for others. A time when everything was all about me; all about analysis and reflection. There was a certain peace to that time that can never be brought back.

“If it helps you sleep at night,” they say.

I recently found something that literally does help me sleep at night: my sleeping blindfold. It’s just so comforting to have something press against my eyes that help me sleep. It reminds me of Andrew Bird’s TED talk when he talks about the eyes trying to see themselves (which he pointed out to be impossible) and he says the same goes for the heart—it constantly tries to break itself. And so I guess the question remains—is there a sleeping blindfold for the heart?

When at the brink of hypothermia, when in an extremely cold weather, the blood from your extremities rush toward the important organs, to protect them and give them heat. This is why ears and fingers fall off first. The body knows that it could sacrifice those things and that there are more important parts that need protection. So really, most times when we are in pain, the body is actually trying to save itself and not the other way around. The heart, for instance, will send out pain to signal other parts of the body that it needs help.

When we are poisoned, we take something in, we accept it, not knowing that it can damage us or destroy us. And so we throw up and sweat and the body tries everything it can to get rid of this deceptive substance.

But the system is not perfect. Many times, it could fail from saving itself.


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